The Monument You Leave Behind

I will turn fifty in 2009, and the event has been looming like a thunderhead on the horizon for about two years. I seem to have been the youngest, by a few months, among many of my peers, so I've been watching them slide over the hill for about a year now. It looks painless enough.

Yet.

Fifty is the age when all men line up for the colonoscopy. Fifty is the average age for women to begin menopause. Fifty is the kiss of death on any resume. Michael Jackson died at fifty. There's no way to hit the half-century without admitting that you're getting old. Or are old already.

For men--or for this man, anyway--fifty is not so much about lost youth (we felt that at 30) but lost opportunity. We take stock of our remaining strength, energy, and time and we realize that there are more things we won't accomplish than that we will. There just aren't enough sunsets left to get it all done.

For me, this realization is compounded by the knowledge that I've wasted a lot of time and many opportunities. The many detours and siestas in my life and career have left me short of several goals. Some of them were unstated, things I simply thought would happen in my life but never have.

For example, I always assumed, unknown to my conscious self, that I would create a grand achievement that would leave the world, and even me, somewhat in awe. I'd write a best-seller. Or found a megachurch. Or build a cathedral. Or Win the Tour de France seven times. Something that I could point back to and say, "See. There it is. That's the story of my life. I did that."

At fifty, I realize that I have neither the energy nor the time to achieve most of the things on my unwritten bucket list. Worse, I had not the talent nor determination to achieve most of them even as a younger man. 

How am I going to live with that for the last 50 years of my life (Heather made me put it in writing that I'll live to 100)?

My mentor Henri Nouwen offered this response to me. He said, "Many ministers, priests and Christian laymen have become disillusioned, bitter, and even hostile when years of hard work bear no fruit, when little change is accomplished. Building a vocation on the expectations of concrete results, however conceived, is like building a house on sand instead of on solid rock, and even takes away the ability to accept successes as free gifts. Hope prevents us from clinging to what we have and frees us ... to enter unknown and fearful territory."

He must have been speaking of the 51st year.

Life itself is the grand achievement. Surviving for 50 years is noteworthy. Growing. Changing. Loving God. Serving others. Leaving the world a better place than you found it, this is worth a great deal. Monuments, towers, empires? These are the free gifts that God bestows on some. To most of us, he gives only life, which is itself the greater gift.

When I die, they will perhaps lay my bones to rest on Crown Hill, the iconic cemetery that lies at the heart of Indianapolis. There, among the imposing monuments to men like Benjamin Harrison, Eli Lilly, and L.S. Ayers, there may be a small stone with these words upon it:

Here lies Lawrence W. Wilson. 

He learned from his mistakes.

If that is all I leave behind, it will be enough.

PS: Please leave no comments on this post that tell me how good I am or how much I achieved or what my life is worth. I'm not looking for "Twitter love."  I'm just sayin'.

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Strong at the Broken Places

Ken Heer will be guest preacher at Fall Creek this week. I always enjoy hearing Ken speak, partly because he was my first pastor other than my dad, when I was attending College Wesleyan Church in Marion, Ind.

Ken's theme is Strong in the Broken places based on Isa. 61:1-3.

Reading that text got me thinking of a passage from my book, Why Me? Straight Talk about Suffering, and I thought I'd share it with you.

It describes a time when I visited a photographer for a publicity shot, and she wanted to use my cane as a prop in the photo. I've used a cane off and on for years because of my arthritis, but I was always a bit embarrassed about it and certainly didn't want it shown in a photograph. Aren't photographers supposed to make you look better than you really are.

"I let her take the picture--finally.

"I sat on the chair, there in the photographer's studio, surrounded by lights, feeling as if the whole world were watching. I leaned forward a little, resting my hands on my cane, and stared down the lens of that camera as if inot the face of God.

"It flashed.

"The picture revealed a different me than the one beore, more sober, more plain, more honest--more real. I went home that night and stood before th mirror, alone, counting the scars on my body. Six surgeries on my legs have left them riddled with ugly red lines. How I have been ashamed of them. How I have hated them. How anxiously I have hidden them from view.

"No more.

"I have seen the scars on Jesus' body. I have learned that all real peple have scars. All survivors have scars. All heroes have scars. All who have lived and loved and bled and lost and failed and triumphed have scars. It's the plastic people who are perfect, the unreal peole, the aribrushed, digitally enhanced peole who can't survive outside the strange environment of a magazine page or movie frame. We who are missing a limb or walk with a limp or are married to an insulin needele or divorced or abused or hungry or hurt--we are real.

"So I embrace these scars, my stigmata, my marks of Christ. For just as he, through suffering, became like me, so I, by my pain, have become more like him. These scars have become my seminary course in Christlikeness. For by them I have learned to be honest with myself, honest with God, and totally dependent on him."

I'm looking forward to what Ken has for us this week.

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The Art of Making Room

This week I'm composing a message about the Fourth Commandment, which is the command to stop work for one day every week.

Given that most people get two days off each week, that might seem like a needless command, but I wonder. Most of us admit to being to busy to "really live." If our careers are not demanding too much of our time and energy, the yard, the kids, the softball league or something else quickly fills in the extra room.

We very seldom truly stop, which is what the Hebrew word behind sabbath really means. Our culture drives us to greater productivity as a source of esteem, and we seem to have confused relaxing with consuming. Perhaps we're afraid of feeling useless? Maybe we fear the silence?

Either way, I'm convinced that we need more room in our lives, both for physical and psychological well being and to center ourselves as people of God.  But I confess that I'm the chief among sinners on this one.  I've decided to get over feeling like a hypocrite (as well as being one) and deal with the subject.

Here are my initial questions, after reading a couple of scriptures including Deut. 5:12-15 and Mark 2:23-38. 

Do you feel that you are too busy?

What makes people so resistant to the idea of doing nothing for a day?

Is there a difference between a sabbath and a day off?

Do you observe the sabbath? How? When?

Is it reasonable for people in our culture to be out of touch for 24 hours?

Help me out, team?  How can we apply this commandment to life in the wired world?

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What Works for Spiritual Formation

Lately I've been asking myself and others this question:  What's the best strategy for promoting spiritual growth in a local church context--Sunday school, small groups, or something else?

What do you think?

Post your response as a comment on this post, and I'll do the same. No fair peeking! Post your answer before you read mine--I really want to hear what you think.

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God Is Up to Something Good

"If there is a God, then why doesn't he do something about the pain and suffering in the world?"

That may be the most common question Christians hear about their faith. Even we wonder about this sometimes. What kind of God would allow innocent children to be abused? Does God simply not care about war, illness, pain? Or is he unable to do something about it?

This week I want to help people see that God is up to something good in the world. Here are some reasons we sometimes fail to see that, and some ways to get tuned in on what God is doing. Can you think of others?

We think of salvation as a future-only event.

While it is true that our hope is for eternal life in heaven, most of us place too much stake on the future aspect of salvation. We are "saved" in that we have a guaranteed spot in heaven. Sort of like a boarding pass. As a result, we really don't expect God to do much for us at the moment. We're trying to survive long enough to get to heaven.

But God is saving the world now. Salvation isn't only a guarantee of future happiness; God intends to restore what has gone wrong in the world.

What would God do in your life right now if I were open to it? 

Look look mostly at our own lives and not at what God is doing in others.

The great gift of Evangelical theology is the celebration of personal salvation--Jesus loves me. But in God's view, salvation has always been a corporate event. God doesn't want to save individuals only--he is creating a people who are saved. 

As with most things, when we look only at ourselves we don't see much. Look beyond your life to see what God is doing in your church, or what he might do through you if you were more united.

What is God doing around you, even if you don't feel personally affected by it?

We lack patience.

Q: Why did we invent instant messages? A: Because e-mail is too slow. 

It should be no surprise that the same society that invented instant messages, publishing on demand, and overnight shipping has little patience with a God who takes 1,000 years to get things done. 

But justice delayed is not justice denied. The fact that God has not yet settled all accounts, balanced all the scales, punished all the wicked, and rewarded all the faithful doesn't mean he isn't going to. Patience is a cardinal virtue for good reason. We need it to tolerate this life, in which God is working--and Satan is too.

What might God be doing in the world that you are in too big a hurry to see?

We expect God to do all the work. 

When my kids say, "What's for lunch?" what they really mean is "When are you going to feed me?" When I say, "There's plenty of bread, make yourself a sandwich," they call me hateful names ;-)

I think we pull a version of that stunt when we ask, "Why doesn't God do anything about suffering?"  A better question might be "Why don't we?"

Beginning with the Exodus and continuing through Jesus' Great Commission, God never promised that he would do all the work. Moses had to go back and face Pharaoh. Jesus said, "Go ... I will be with you always," not "Sit back and watch me work." We are expected to join God in the work of saving the world. He provides the power; we provide the manpower. 

What can you do to make the world a better place? 

This week I'd like to help people see that God is doing something good in the world in spite of how it may appear at any given moment. God is up to something good, and I want to inspire others to join him.

What do you think? Do you see evidence of God's work in the world? What would you say to someone who asks "Why doesn't God do something about evil?"

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How People Grow

Adult spiritual formation is the weak link in the church right now. I don't mean my congregation, Fall Creek Wesleyan, but there too. I'm talking about a systemic problem in the American church. 

This is the classic "hole" between the two halves of the Great Commission. We're much better at attracting folks to Christ (or to our churches?) than at helping them become like Christ. After we bring them in, we often don't have a good "next step" to offer in their faith development. 

What should that next step look like? Here are some elements that must be included in any approach to discipleship. People don't grow without these three things.

Bible Study

People grow when the come to know God more fully, and Scripture is the primary way to accomplish that. To become mature Christians, people need to seriously interact with the Bible. Studying other writings, whether classic Christian texts or the latest best-sellers, will not substitute for Scripture study. 

A spiritual formation effort must be founded on Bible study.

Relationships

Jesus organized his closest followers into a group of 12. Paul organized early believers into congregations, usually meeting in homes. The genius of the Methodist movement was its class meetings--small groups, limited in number, that met for study and accountability.

People crave intimate spiritual relationships. Men probably won't use that term, but everybody wants a few close relationships with like-minded from whom they can learn, gain support, and find friendship. 

These relationships also provide the informal examples that bring Bible teaching to life. When we see other Christians talk, laugh, handle problems, get hurt, get angry, and get over it, we see how to become like Jesus. That example-based learning is indispensable.

A spiritual formation approach must include the forming of close spiritual relationships among small groups of people.

Accountability

Becoming like Christ is not purely a matter of what we believe; it's a matter of how we live. Jesus didn't say "repeat after me," as if the Christian life were a set of arithmetic tables. He said "Follow me," inviting us to imitate his lifestyle. That means life change is the goal of our effort. We are bringing irreligious people into contact with the Holy Spirit who will change them.

This makes accountability a critical element of discipleship. We must set the expectation that people will change with God's help, call them to do so, celebrate their victories, mourn their failures, and continually expect them to go deeper in their relationship with Christ.

Athlete's don't achieve without pushing themselves--or being pushed by their coaches and peers. Christians don't grow without setting the mutual expectation that change will occur in their lives. 

A spiritual formation program must include setting an expectation for growth and keeping one another faithful to choose positive change.

So what will work in creating that environment? I'll blog about that next. For now, what do you think helps people grow? Are these elements present in your church's discipleship effort? How? Are there other important factors?

What do you think people need in order to grow spiritually?

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Love and Justice

What's your first reaction when you hear the word God?

For many people, it's a mixture of fear and anxiety similar to what you might get when you see the flashing lights of a police car. The gut tightens and you wonder, "What'd I do now?" Having heard for years that "God is gonna get you" for everything you've done wrong, you feel noticeable discomfort at the idea of God.

Others have a very different reaction. The first word that pops into their minds is love. God is love, right? He's the good guy. The Man Upstairs. The big guy looking out for us. God doesn't punish people, we think. He loves everybody and accepts them just the way they are. To some, God is like a kindly old uncle. We're not exactly sure what he does all day, but he's always pleasant to have around. 

This week I'm working on a message on the holiness of God. This is the character trait that combines these two, seemingly opposite, characteristics--justice and mercy. I'd like to help people move beyond both stereotypes of God so that they will neither fear him nor take him for granted but have a deep desire to know him and become like him.

Which extreme is more common--being afraid of God or taking him too lightly?

Why do people always seem to gravitate toward one end of the spectrum or the other?

What will help people discover a more complete, balanced, view of who God is?

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God Is Bigger Than You Think

Do you imagine God smaller than he really is?

This week I'm preparing a message about the magnitude of God, based on the second commandment, Exodus 20:4

Here's my idea: The prohibition against making idols was really a warning against reducing God to a manageable size. We often do that, I think, when we try to dictate how God should answer prayers or believe that he shares our goals or prejudices. We want God to be just like us, only big enough to handle our problems.

While we may say say at God is great, we often act as if he's a teeny little guy we can carry around in our pocket to perform for us on demand. By doing that, we make God appear smaller than he really is. As a result we are often surprised, as Job was, when God doesn't behave the way we think he should. 

God is pretty large. In fact, he has no limits. No limits. He is not limited by time, space, gender, or race. Most of us get that. He also is not limited by logic, law, or morality (read Gen. 22 and ponder the fact that God commanded Abraham to kill his own son!).  This is the thought that I want to lead people to this week: 

God is bigger than you think. 

What would be the result in our lives if we caught a glimpse of how huge God really is?

How would our lives improve if we stopped trying to manipulate God and were more content to trust him?

What experiences have you had that caused you to see God's vast ability, wisdom, or power?

What images or word-pictures would help communicate this to others?

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The Truth about God

Nearly everyone believes in God. It is our concept of God that varies from religion to religion—even from person to person. We gather our conceptions of God the way we build up any set of beliefs—partly from our own experience and partly from sound bytes of conversation and pop culture. We come to believe about God whatever “sounds right.”

That approach would be fine if we were decorating a living room. We would be free to create a pastiche of our own experiences and the preferences of others. But God is not a construct of our imagination; it’s the other way around. He is more like a freight train than an impressionist painting—he is what he is, not what we imagine him to be. We, in fact, are what he imagines us to be.

Four the next four weeks my messages at Fall Creek will center on the things we know for sure about God.

This is important because when you know who God is, you can understand him. When you understand him, you can relate to him. And when you have a relationship with God, you can grow to become like him.  And that's what we're all doing here, imitating God in the example of Jesus Christ.

This week, I'm thinking about the fact that God exists. What, too simple?

While nearly everyone acknowledges that there is a God, relating to him in real life is a different matter. I have a hunch that God is more of an idea to some folk than he is a person. I want to take people beyond knowledge about God to an experience of him.

When did you first become aware of God in some personal way?

What is the most profound encounter with God you have ever had?

Do you talk to God every day? Does he talk back?

Do you ever doubt that God is really there?

What can I say to people that will leave them with the certainty that God is real, personal, and present--right here, right now?

PS: This is also Pentecost Sunday, when we remember the day that God's Holy Spirit came to enliven the new believers. It's one of the days that we (a) think hard about who God is and (b) realize that we are part of a much, much wider fellowship than the people who gather in any one local church. 

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What's on Your Prayer List?

What do you ask God for? And do you usually get it?

This week I'm preaching on the three petitions in the Lord's Prayer. Last week's sermon focused on submission to the will of God. This part of the prayer is directed at dependence upon the care of God.

Give us this day our daily bread, 

And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

As I compare my prayer list to Jesus', I notice a few differences. For one thing, I usually pray for things I don't strictly need. Also, I'm usually a bit less patient, wanting tomorrow's results today.

How can we determine the difference between what we really need and what we merely want?

Why does Jesus insist that only people who forgive others will themselves be forgiven? Is that realistic? Truly?

Is this prayer intended to (a) give us access to the good things God provides, or (b) simply be content with what we have?

I don't think the prayer itself is so hard to understand. It's praying it in real life that is challenging.

Any ideas?

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