Advice on Writing a Memoir

“Will you publish my memoir?”

As editorial director for a Christian publishing house, I get asked that question quite often. Generally, the questioner has had a life-changing experience and is eager to share it with others. This profoundly affected me, they figure, so it will interest everybody. Often, they've written a personal journal that they hope to rework as a book.

My standard reply is that memoirs are a hard sell with the reading public. That statement is met with universal skepticism. “Ever heard of Eat, Pray, Love?” they ask me. Or, “Seems like it worked pretty well for Tim Russert.”

It’s true that some memoirs can be highly successful. In fact, my wife, Heather Gemmen Wilson, is primarily known for her best-selling memoir, Startling Beauty.

But unless the writer is extremely well known or the experience is truly unique, most readers will not be interested in a book about someone else's personal experience. Here are five questions to ask yourself before getting to work on writing your memoir.

1. How many people know you?

Billy Graham, Barak Obama, and Bill Clinton have all had successful memoirs, partly because they were well known to begin with. Sadly, if people don't know you, they probably won't be interested in your story. Name recognition is a tremendous advantage.

So if you’re not a celebrity or don’t have a significant speaking platform, can you still sell your story? Sure, as long as you’ve got a compelling experience.

2. Is your experience unique?

Remember that Tragic and unique are not the same thing. A great many people have been divorced, lost a mom to cancer, or survived child sexual abuse. Those experiences alone are not sufficient to make a memoir successful.

What’s unique? Losing your husband on 9/11 after he galvanizes the nation to resist terrorism with the words, “Let’s roll!” (Lisa Beamer, Let’s Roll). Or being tortured by your parents, kept as an animal and finally treated as a slave but surviving to discover what real love is (Dave Pelzer, A Child Called It).

What if your story is not spectacular, can it still make a good memoir? You bet. But if it is not unique, it must at least be a compelling story.

3. Does this make a compelling story?

Many of the memoirs pitched to me are really a collection of interesting experiences. Many people, especially if they've been through a war, a family breakup, or a serious illness, have had experiences that are genuinely terrifying, tragic, and even humorous. Usually, that's the extent of it. Their story isn’t really a story; it’s a series of random events.

To make a compelling memoir, the book must be have all the elements of a good drama—a hero (you, probably), a central conflict, a cast of characters, and a climactic resolution. A good memoir reads like a novel. BTW, that's exactly what got James Frey into trouble with his “memoir” A Million Little Pieces. It actually was a novel.

What is the central conflict of your story? “God helped me cope,” “I eventually got over my trauma,” or “I learned that God is good” probably don’t count as a compelling dramatic conflict.

So if I’ve got a great story of triumph, survival, discovery, or achievement; will that get me published? Maybe. If you can write your story well.

4. How well do you write?

Even if you do have a unique experience, you have to be able to tell the story well. Publishers generally are unwilling to pay for writing that they have to rewrite in order to put into print. If you cannot write extremely well, you’ll probably have to hire someone to write for you—which is completely legitimate. Many memoirs have two names on the cover.

Get feedback on your writing form someone who doesn’t care if they hurt your feelings (i.e., not your spouse, your mom, or anybody at your church).

So, what if my prospects for getting published appear slim, should I write my story anyway? Good question. It depends on your answer to our last query.

5. Why are you doing this?

There are lots of reasons to write besides becoming a best-selling author. In fact, that’s the worst reason to pick up a pen—since it probably won’t happen. Other reasons are:

To support your speaking ministry
To process your thoughts and feelings
To practice writing
To preserve a record of your experience
To share your experience with friends and family

A publisher can tell you whether or not they will publish your book, but nobody can tell you not to write it. That’s a decision for you to make.

So will I publish your memoir? Probably not, because we don't specialize in that type of writing. But lots of people do, so keep trying. And good luck!