What's the Good Word?

What's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to you?

I'm working on a message for Sunday based on Eph. 4:29, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

I'm convinced that the lack of civility is a significant problem in our society, and as Christians we need to be leaders in making the world more liveable by building others up and refusing to tear them down.

Think of your own life and the number of times you've been stung by sarcasm, insults, or domineering behavior delivered verbally. As a recovering put-down artist myself, I know how tempting it can be to use words to gain the upper hand in a conversation, make yourself feel superior to others, or just lash out at those who have hurt you.

Think, too, of other kinds of negative talk that we frequently engage in, such as gossip or complaining. What effect have you seen that kind of speech have on a family or classroom? 

Now think of the times people have brightened your day by saying something nice, such as a compliment or even a cheerful hello.

The difference, according to Paul, isn't simply that some people are a bit happier than others. Negative words harm us and positive words build us up. 

Do you agree that negative speech is a serious problem in our culture (even, perhaps, in church culture)?

Truly, what is the nicest thing someone has ever said to you?

What kinds of negative words (gossip, profanity, complaining, put-downs, sarcasm, etc.) offend you the most? Why?

How would you define being polite or courteous? Is that more or less important in the online era?

What might help someone who struggles to keep a positive attitude learn to develop good patterns of speaking?

What's the good word, team?