Memorial No. 52

Membership Commitment Addressing Family Violence and Desertion 

Whereas, Family violence is psychologically, physically, spiritually, economically and socially destructive and abhorrent, betraying what should be the most loving and trusted human relationships with unloving acts that mar souls, endanger lives, destroy marriages, set harmful generational patterns of sin in motion, and threaten eternal destinies;

Whereas, Violence, as well as sexual immorality, breaks faith between the partners in covenant relationships, including marriage, and is a sin the Lord hates (see Malachi 2:13-16 and Matthew 5:32);

Whereas, Abandonment and desertion by an unbelieving spouse, as well as sexual immorality, are treated in Scripture as just cause for a believer to be released from the marriage covenant and its obligations, as long as divorce is the direct result of the unbelieving partner’s choices and actions—not merely choices and actions initiated by the believer (see Matthew 5:32 and 1 Corinthians 7:10-16);

Whereas, Divorce is regrettable, but at times may be necessary for a believer’s personal well-being, or for the physical, psychological and legal safety of other family members, particularly innocent children and adolescents;

Whereas, It is the duty of the godly to come to the rescue of the oppressed whenever it is within our power as agents of the Lord’s justice and love (see Jeremiah 22:3);

Whereas, Family violence, abandonment or desertion should subject a member guilty of committing such acts to church discipline, the purpose of which is to bring about repentance, deliverance from sin’s bondage, the assurance of salvation, reconciliation, restoration, and the peaceable fruit of righteousness;

Whereas, Church members who are victims of sexual infidelity, domestic violence or marital desertion should feel shielded and supported by their family of faith, and experience its acceptance and love without condemnation or the fear of church discipline when difficult personal decisions, including the decision to divorce, are forced on them by the sinful behavior of a spouse; and

Whereas, The Church desires to reduce the occurrence of domestic violence and the prevalence of divorce in society and the resulting damage these evils inflict upon innocent individuals, families, communities and culture, by calling its members to the highest standards of Christian faithfulness and holiness;

Resolved, That Discipline 265:6 be amended by striking the words “spousal or child abuse” and “the” as shown, and by inserting the new language indicated in bold italics:

(6) To preserve the sanctity of the home by honoring Christ in every phase of family life and by demonstrating Christlike love, always avoiding spousal or child abuse violence, including physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse toward one’s spouse or family members, as well as sexual infidelity or desertion, any of which warrant church discipline for the offender and may justify separation or divorce if true repentance and appropriate counseling cannot bring about reconciliation, and by living peacefully with one another, thereby building up one’s spouse and family members through word and deed, and encouraging the nurture and education of the  children in the Christian faith so as to bring them early to the saving knowledge of Christ.

Prov. 22:6; Malachi 2:13-16; Mark 10:9; 1 Cor. 7:10-16; Eph. 5:28; 6:4